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| Reach- a piece sent to a mentor as a thank-you 2004 |
I read a very interesting blog on will power the other day on Going Home to Roost. It was not new information, but it stirred a few thoughts that correlation with my current life situation and my war on resistance. First allow me to confess that the extreme cold weather in Indiana has drained me, bed at 9:00 and struggling to get out of bed. I am in hibernation mode and am really enjoying the evenings snuggling in bed with the doggies, who are also in hibernation mode. Resistance, well, truth, in a way I feel defeated that I am not getting to my task list, but I also feel that this is what my body and my mind needs. It needs to enjoy a long winter's rest. The following is a break down of thoughts and beliefs I hold on to about drive, motivation and doing way to much.
Item 1: I do believe that will power is a muscle of the brain, and that it can be strengthened overtime. That will power is critical for us as human beings to reach our greatest potential. If I believe this, then it means that this muscle can be strained, pushed to hard. Like all things, will power needs to be balanced, and aligned with our physical and mental capacities. I feel the stress over the past 18-24 months has not only packed on a few on unwanted pounds, but it has stained my will power. This summer when I would go for a run it didn't take much for me to start to walk. My body was in good working order, and my breath hardly stained, but my mind was over pushing forward, picking up my feet. I have ran a few time this month and I can tell a difference in my will power and attitude, it is stronger, better. I am able to keep my momentum, to even in some cases overcome the mental strain to keeping up my run. With this practice and working on resistance I am picking up more tasks and revising hobbies. But like a stained muscle in the body that is healing, it needs care, this past week I jumped to high and took on too much. The weather added a couple items to my list and I felt myself breaking under the pressure. This week I have allowed myself to surrender to the naps, and time in a chair with a book, to watch that TV show. This week I have allowed myself to reflect on where I am, and to not be discouraged. We all have times were we need to rest, to heal, to allow our hearts and minds a break, sometimes it make take a bit longer to heal than we might like. This is different from resistance, the trick is to know when to pick yourself up and to start slowly getting back into the battle, back into the flow of creating, being part of community, of getting yourself out there. Are you healing, flexing your will power, or giving in to resistance?
Item 2: Procrastination, for me, this is an easy one. If I am cleaning the floors for a third time, organizing my already organized closet, or re-stacking books at my desk. If I am doing these things I know I am procrastinating. My procrastination is full of energy, the energy my mind wants to put to the real things I should be doing, I truly want to be doing. These actions in procrastination is resistance, resistance that is winning. Procrastination is not an indication that my will power is strained, it is a sign that my will power is not activated, that I am not focused on the battle. What does your procrastination look like?
Item 3: Sometimes we just take on too much, and we have to say no. We have to accept that at perhaps in that moment, that opportunity is not the best for us. I am blessing by having to many opportunities presented to me that align with the creative professional I want to be, the person I see myself being, however, sometimes the timing is off. I often find I am lectured on not "embracing the moment", the "opportunity", that I am "missing out on the life I am meant to have". This use to really upset me, I am not the type of person to put things off, to not seize the moment, why were these words being said to me. I finally had to come to terms with the fact that I do know who I am, where I want to be, and that most people are not in a place where they want to be. If I were to win a million dollars, I really don't think I would change a thing. Maybe pay off my debts and travel to more distant places, but I feel that I would continue at my job, create as I do, and struggle with the same things I struggle with today. I like my job, my dream job is working with people I enjoy and can collaborate with, a job where I am learning. I have that. When opportunity knocks and I find myself feeling a need to say "no" I ask myself, "am I saying no because I fear failure", "am I saying no because my time is currently being taking up with things I love and an enjoying as much or more than the opportunity given", "am I saying no because I am in a place of rest and need to rejuvenate". I have no real regrets or things I would have done differently. I truly believe when one is fighting the war on resistance that when one door closes another one opens. Are you looking for the perfect open doors you what you want in life, or are you taking any opportunity given, and perhaps are missing the best ones?
I am looking forward to this weekend and re-setting myself for a new week after a week of working on self acceptance and enjoying a bit of a rest.
Ask yourself: Where am I at with my start to the year, am I needing to strengthen my will power, give my will power a rest, or am I needing to find my will power? How is my war with resistance going, am I wining a few key battles, am I feeling overwhelmed? Is my to do list realistic, have I taken on too much or too little?
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